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Monday 10 September 2012

The Annals of Linnius: Chapter 1: The Defence of Bleddig's Farm

"Early Spring in the 472nd year after the birth of our Blessed Saviour Lord Jesus Christ.

On this day, the forces of the Tribune Lord Andrucius did engage a band of heathen  Saex who did attempt to raid the farmestead of the freeman Bleddig, whose lands lie in the East of the province of Caer Lind Colun, but a short march from the sea.

The Tribune's forces came upon the enemy as they were entering the freeman's farm. 'Tis indeed fortunate that the goodly farmer had wind of their foul presence and enabled the escape of his entire family into surrounding woodland. According to both the Lord Andrucius and the Decurio Geraint, this was largely due to the stench of the heathens' unwashed bodies and also to the hideously loud and guttural noises made by one of the enemy lords which alerted the freeman and his entire family. Decurio Geraint, who has some limited knowledge of the Saex tongue, doth inform me that this was the Saex equivalent of 'song' performed by a brute who was in no small measure inebriated and that he would not furnish me with more detail of the lyric lest he offend my delicate sensbilities. Wisely, I did not pursue the matter...

The Tribune's report stated that the the forces of our kingdom fought bravely against the onslaught of the heathen, but that, due to the difficulty of terrain, the Saex had the edge throughout the early stages of the encounter. This was also apparently enhanced by the brutes' habit of stepping forth with loud, foul and dastardly taunting of the Lord Andrucius' bodyguard. Apparently, the British tongue was not spoken well by the heathen, but by dint of hand gesture (and other bodily parts which I shall not mention) the gist of the insults were only too clear, leaving the goaded hearthguard unable to support their warrior bretheren in combat for some goodly part of the fight.

Thus, things did seem bleak until the Lord Andrucius, finally clearing his mind of the heathens' curses, and with his valiant hearthguard howling in battle rage beside him, launched a series of devastating assaults on the Saex Lord's own hearthguard units, putting both to ignominious flight at only trifling loss to his own elite guard. This turned the tables on the foe, who were celebrating the rout of the milites in the Tribune's force with further raucous 'song' and insults. Both the Decurio Geraint and the Lord's Champion Bedwyr are to be mentioned in dispatches to his majesty King Mascuidius for valiantly fighting against the odds for much of the conflict, the Decurio gaining a small and insignifcant wound in the process as his milites withdrew from the field.

Maximus Minimus shall not be mentioned as his entire role in the fight was to march the levy inconsequentially around the field, apparently searching for the enemy. Still, we must not judge the young man too harshly - at the very least, he did not get any of them killed!

Thus the conflict ended, as the Saex found nothing of any value in any part of Bleddig's farm and withdrew from the fight before more of their men were sent to cross the bridge of swords to the halls of their heathen dead. The Tribune Lord Andrucius was content to let them go, with the clear, well-formed and vigorously shouted taunts of our brave soldiers ringing in their ears!

A victory! Praise be to our Lord and Blessed Saviour!!

The Tribune informs me that our losses will be made good in but one cycle of the moon and that it will be yet another again before the Saex will have the strength to come at us once more. Yet we must remain vigilant, for come again they surely must! Their Lord will now know the name of our Tribune who has vanquished him and will be calling for revenge. The Saex will return. That we know for certain. What their next move will be, only their heathen gods will know.

This is a true and accurate account of the action at Bleddig's Farm, written by mine own hand.

Publicus Librarius - Scribe to his most royal majesty King Mascuidius of Linnius"

4 comments:

Sidney Roundwood said...

Fantastic Andy! I loved the part (no pun intended....fnrr, fnrr) about the Saex's gesticulations and attempts at singing! And Maximus Minimus didn't even take an active role - just think how terrified the Saex will be when that pocket Hercules takes to the field in anger! Brilliant, mate - looking forward to lots more!

Paul Scrivens-Smith said...

Excellent - I look forwards to more

GuitarheroAndy said...

Glad you liked it, chaps! I had fun writing it (and the game was a total blast!!)
Sidney - a 'proper' Maximus Minimus figure is 50% completed and should take to the table in our next game :-)

Chris Stoesen said...

Great Report. I am looking forward to the next installment.